Self Love 🌸

Love comes in so many different forms, however self love is sometimes the best kind of love there is. The feeling of being completely filled up with pure joy and happiness. Why? Because you choose yourself. You choose to love yourself so unconditionally that you don’t need to look to external sources for love. You have it within. Take a moment to understand the stability that creates for you. To not be dependant on another for affection, reassurance or validation. You can give it to yourself! You are more than deserving, so let’s start to believe in it and ourselves! We are ALL special. It’s time to start to ask your self, why am I special. Make a list, feel it, and then embody all the reasons why you are so very special. It’s time to start loving ourselves alot more now!

Self love is the key to attracting all that you deserve. Love. To be able to love yourself unconditionally. To feel whole and stand tall from within yourself. To know your strengths and find beauty in the aspects in which you may feel you lack. A sort of perfect imperfection. Our imperfections are our unique characteristics, without them… we would not be us.

Most of us are so happy to give our love away to our family, friends, pets etc. But have we ever stopped to think about ourselves? Why are we so free and open to give it to others and not ourselves? Can we take a moment to compare how you treat a loved one… say your pet dog/spouse/sibling/parent to how you treat yourself? Are you as kind, compassionate and caring? Do you buy yourself special presents? Do you take care of your own body with good food, good sleep, good activity and lots of self love kind of thoughts? In most cases we are so very critical and hard on ourselves, constantly putting ourselves down. But what does that do but dull our spirits? When we realise what we are doing and consciously try to do and be better for ourselves, we see that inevitably we can even love others MORE when we love ourselves so beautifully.

Sometimes we give away our love to those who don’t reciprocate. This can create alot of feelings of being unworthy, unlovable etc. Just because someone you care for cannot feel the same about you does NOT mean that there is anything wrong with you or that you are unlovable. It just means that it’s time to look within and give all that love you had for that person… to yourself! When you do that, you tend to attract the kind of people who will love you like you love yourself. So love yourself so much so that you cultivate a loving family around you too!

So how can you learn to cultivate a little bit of self love? To start off I think the most important would be to visualise someone you love, whether it be a family member, best friend, partner etc. Think about how you respond to them. How do you help them during crisis? How do you make an effort with them? How do you talk to them? How do you take care of them? My guess is that you do so pretty kindly, with compassion, understanding and lot’s of love. Now think about how you talk to yourself? How is that different from your loved one and what can we do to change that!! Can you truly and deeply love someone else unconditionally if you have yet to learn to love yourself?

One way to cultivate self love is to find things to do that make you feel whole and happy. It could be dancing in front of the mirror to your favourite tunes… or being goofy and making yourself laugh. Self love could look like making yourself a cup of tea to soothe your nerves or writing down all your thoughts and feelings in your journal. Maybe reading a book or watching a movie. Sleeping early or going out and having a good time. So figure out how you can love yourself more and really try to invest your time and effort into it!

I find that really taking the time to get to know yourself without other peoples judgment’s or influence really helps in learning and understanding more about who you are and what you need from yourself in order to completely fall in love with yourself. SO why not take some time each day to sit with yourself, talk to yourself. Think of it as taking yourself out on a date and getting to know who you truly are. The acceptance of your true self is another form of self love. To say “This is who I am and I am proud of it”. However, sometimes when we get to know ourselves we don’t always like who we are. We want to change. When we want to change for the better its always a good thing. To elevate ourselves by setting goals and reaching them. Turning bad habits into good ones. Although wanting to change the parts of yourself that you cannot, like your body… are certain aspects that you have to learn to love.

Loving your body is something most of us overlook. We take it for granted and feel as though we have had to settle for the bodies we have… especially after social media influence. However imagine your body had feelings, how do you think it would feel if you ignored its needs, constantly despised how it looked and failed to see gratitude for all the hard work it puts in for you to remain healthy and mobile. SO it’s time to appreciate! Appreciate the fact that your body is your number 1 mode of transport. It supports you, takes you from one place to another in clean strides like a well oiled machine. It processes and digests your food for you in the most efficient ways and it even feels all the wonderful emotions that flow through you! It is now time to appreciate our bodies for what they are! Love each and every cell and really take the time to listen to what your body needs from you. Because if you don’t take care of your body who will? Let’s love ourselves enough to take care of ourselves 🙂

No matter how we look, what our body type is, it was what was given to us. Instead of wishing we had a better body… let’s try to appreciate what we were given. Pay attention to the thoughts you have towards your body and then ask yourself, would you talk about the person you love the mosts body like you talk about your own? If not, then its time to start a more positive self talk!

Learning to love yourself is one of the most gratifying experiences and I am so excited for everyone who is on this path! I do hope you learn to love yourself so completely as you so very deserve!

Your Needs Vs. The Needs Of Others

If you do not take care of yourself, how are you to even begin to take care of another? Kindness, generosity and giving for others can only go so far, learning to give that to yourself is key. When we take care of our needs, we are able to give far more to others than if we do not take care of ourselves. Selflessness works to an extent, however we must remind ourselves that it is ok to be selfless toward ourselves too. Take some time to really go inwards. Ask yourself what you want, what are your needs to feel balanced, fulfilled, loved, nurtured, supported and guided. Then come up with creative ways in which you can give that to yourself.

There is a beautiful shift that takes place when you take care of yourself. When you set healthy boundaries for yourself out of love and compassion. To heal yourself, so that you can heal others. Because would you not be doing others a disservice by not reaching your full potential first? Wouldn’t you want then to receive the full power of your healing? In order to give that, you need to put yourself first. You need to make yourself a priority and invest your time, effort, love and hard work into yourself. To heal yourself, break up all the limitations and all the blocks within yourself so that you can let go and flow, learn and grow!

And sometimes putting yourself first upsets others. They turn to you to feel good, to feel joy and find support. And when you don’t give it to them, it causes a sort of disconnect between the two of you. And that is alright. Because the truth is that no one is going to take care of you in a way that you can take care of yourself. So you putting yourself first, may cause distance and discomfort in some of your relationships, but it also teaches others to go within themselves too. If they cannot find the love and support that they need from you, it is encouraging them to look within themselves too! And hopefully that will trigger their own inner growth and healing. Sometimes we just need to put ourselves first.

And of course we feel guilty for doing something for ourselves, knowing it may cause discomfort/disconnect in our relationships. We may also feel undeserving of it. But is that a healthy reason not to do it? Putting yourself first does not mean that you are doing something wrong, even if someone else gets upset by it. It just means that you are taking care of yourself, going after your dreams and making the most out of the life that you have been blessed with. As long as you do everything with love and gentleness, with good intentions, there is no need to feel guilty for it. It is what is of the best and highest good of all. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, and even if it makes some people upset.

Something I find difficult to accept is knowing someone you care for is going through a difficult situation, and knowing that they need to experience it in order to learn what they need to learn. My instinct would be to want to take away their troubles and make them feel good. BUT, the truth is… that when they don’t learn what they have to from that experience, another situation just like it will come into their lives and another and another, until they learn what they are meant to learn from it. So by trying to take their pain away, you are doing a disservice to them, as it is their journey and their path to go on, to feel, to learn and to grow from. All we can do is to be there and help them help themselves. To offer tools and practices that they could benefit from.

So take care of yourself! Know that everyone has to go through what they have to go through, there is ALWAYS a silver lining and it IS for the best even when it doesn’t feel like it! 🙂