When you think about yourself, what are the thoughts running through your mind, what do you feel… and how do you speak to yourself? One of the most powerful and important tools in your life is to notice the way you speak to yourself. It can alter the way you behave, what you do and how you do it. So how is your relationship with yourself? Is it severely critical… or are you able to cut yourself some slack? Is it very demeaning… or are you able to nurture all the parts of you that are still a work in progress? Take some time to really dig deep within and ask yourself these vital questions. For when you find your answers, you can decided what needs to change and what new and healthy patterns you would like to replace them with.
- How can we help others if we cannot help ourselves first?
When we think about ourselves, why is it that we are taught to feel guilty for putting ourselves first? Why can we not do things for ourselves like we would for a loved one? Why do we push our bodies to burnout and tire our brain to exhaustion? Where do we draw the line and how to we find that balance between self care and daily living. Quite frankly, if you cannot be there for yourself, how can you be there for others? And if you cannot be there for others it defeats the purpose of not taking care of yourself. We need to carve out time for ourselves in order to fill up our cups. When we try to help others whilst running empty, we are not adding, but taking away. So it is vital to be able to first learn to take care of yourself and then be able to do the same for others. And when you truly learn this, you will notice the difference in being there for others before and after you put in time for yourself.
2. How do you speak to yourself?
So let’s change the way we talk to ourselves. Mastering the mind and how you speak to yourself is vital in changing the way you feel and the things you do. It is all too easy for the critical part of our minds to speak out of turn, giving us this negative talk that we never knew we asked for. But how about we stand up for ourselves in these moments. Talk back to that inner critic and say “Hey! Stop that. I am good enough, I am worth it. Just because I make mistakes doesn’t mean i’m less, it just means i’m growing and learning. I am going to forgive myself rather than make myself feel worse”. Then you can bring in a more nurturing voice from within, guiding you, healing you and most importantly supporting you. The bumps along the way are opportunities to expand and reach further than you thought you could. It can be a challenge in itself, you do not need the added criticism. So be gentle with yourself. Notice the critic, stand up to it and then bring in the voice of nurturance.
3. How do we break free from the stereotype that putting yourself first is a selfish act?
I, Me & Myself… what a strong, powerful and courageous statement. So why is it frowned upon? Who made these rules and why must we go along with them? Putting yourself first does not mean neglecting your work life, not looking after your kids or being rude to people. Putting yourself first could be carving out some time in the day to do what nourishes your soul, it could be saying no to unhealthy habits, it could be setting boundaries for yourself and having the courage to follow through on them. The list goes on and will be different for everyone. The more we start to acknowledge our own well being, the more nourished we are on the inside. And the more nourishment we give ourselves, the more we start to flourish externally! When you are flourishing, you feel better, you are more able to be there for others, but most importantly, yourself.
4. How do you balance ‘Doing’ and ‘Being’?
Sometimes… all you need is a day to yourself, a day to just do nothing and be. To get out of the doing mode you found yourself in 24/7 and step into a space of rest and relaxation. To allow your mind to quiet down and let yourself be as you need to be. To do things that help you stay present and grounded, such as reading a book, drawing or even cooking. To allow your creative juices to flow and heal you from the inside out. We all need this, I just wish we learned the importance of it and started to make it more of a priority. Because it is important, to find the little things in life that bring us so much joy and to bask in it, even if it’s just for a little while.
5. How do you change your emotional beliefs toward yourself?
“I am worth the effort I put into myself”
We all deserve to carve out some special time for ourself that is of course Guilt-FREE! Why do we feel guilty about doing things for ourselves? When did we learn to be shameful of making our needs a priority? Guilt and shame go hand in hand. While guilt helps us on the morality scale, it can also be oh so detrimental to our journey to self love and self care. So how do we take the necessary time for ourselves without the guilt or the shame that often follows suit? I would suggest take time to sit with the feelings. Sit with them, acknowledge them and ask yourself why it is coming up for you and where or when you learned to feel this way. We are our own best teachers, if we learn to really listen to ourselves on a higher level, all the answers will come flooding in.
And with that I really do hope you find some I, Me and Myself time to just be what you need in the moment and learn to love the little things in life ❤