Author Archives: lifeinabottle

Perspective

When you open your eyes and truly look at the world around you, what do you see? Do you see a bright and beautiful world filled with immense potential, or do you see a hustle and bustle of a world filled with struggle and strife? Life is what you make it. Whether it be one filled with a deep appreciation for all that you are surrounded with, or a complaint of all the things you don’t have that you wish you did. It is literally your perspective of the world that accompanies your belief system and therefore influences the way you see things, the choices that you make and ultimately how you live your life.

From the time that we are born into the lives that we lead, we have a numerous amount of experiences and situations that shape us into who we eventually think we are. Just as in our last post “The Vortex of the Mind” where we spoke about the mind operating as a sort of analytical computer. As we grow up, the experiences that we have do shape us. Our individual and subjective minds comprehend, analyse and shape situations around us depending on how we respond to them (negatively or positively) and then form a judgment on them, creating the baseline for how we view the world that we live in. The more we add or subtract to these judgments, the more it shapes our beliefs and ideals.

For example, a child born into a happy family with two loving parents would form a judgement that love really is real and that ‘if my parents can find happiness with another, then so can I’. But a child born into an unhappy marriage could lead to the child growing up to feel that maybe marriage isn’t the best situation to be in, even if they would benefit or rather enjoy it. They view it as such because that is the judgement and belief they took from their own personal experience. Some could even grow up to having commitment issues. So how we grow up does shape us yes, but even as adults we continue to form these sort of judgements and then assess life and the world around us just the same. We can determine whether they shape us for better or worse. We can either revolve our entire world around it, or we can learn from it, take the lessons and mould ourselves around the learning.

So what makes these assessments and judgements that the mind makes accurate? And why are we so quick to believe them? These assessments that the mind makes are often in the form of thoughts. These thoughts then lead to strong emotions felt in the body and consequently an action or inaction as reaction to the situation. So if we are so involved in these assumptions, how can we truly know for certain that we are making the right judgments?

There is a big difference between judgement and observation. Judgment stems from a personal angle of having an opinion about a situation. Where as an observation allows you to view something objectively without getting too involved in the matter with regards to your own thoughts and feelings.

So why not try to make observations about the world we live in, objectively rather than based on our own life experiences. Can we not take a step back from the vicious cycle of judgment and come to realise that we are all born in a human body, with the same anatomy and physiology as the person next to us. We all have our own inner battles, so let us come together in allowing ourselves to just be a little more objective and a little less judgmental. As yes we do grow up with certain views and beliefs of the world around us, but I feel it is time to question them, to come out of that box that is painted black and white and learn to adopt a new perspective, one with fresh eyes and a sort of curiosity for the world that we live in. To stop related everything to ourselves and know that we are just tiny specks of dust living on a small planet in a vast universe filled with alot more than just us.

So why not take the time to question ourselves. Is what we believe to be true? Could we invite the possibility of a fresh perspective to certain aspects of our lives? Can we learn to come to terms with certain views of others that we find uncomfortable and is there a possibility of us being a little kinder to the world around us? I know it to be true, I look forward to you discovering this newfound perspective for yourselves!

The vortex of the mind.

Have you ever felt a non stop chatter in your mind, like there are ten different people with different opinions, having an argumentative debate of their own accord. When you are just a bystander observing this form of chaos unleash into tiny fragments within your space, it can be quite exhausting, leaving you feeling a sense of inner chaos, uncertainty and helplessness. So what is the mind and how do we master it?

There are so many different definitions and even functions of our minds. It helps us to do so many things such as analysing, observing, coming to conclusions… however what our minds can’t or won’t do is be in silence. It views silence as uncomfortable for it is wired to think, to do and to work. Our minds don’t understand which situations to aid in and which situations to take a back seat. Sometimes we need our minds working for us, such as when we are taking an exam, or if we are lost and need to find the right direction. Then yes, our minds are able to think analytically, remember things of past that may be useful in the present and help us find a solution to our current predicament.

However what happens when the mind gets activated in trying to solve a situation where there is no solution but to just be present and let go. What then? The mind goes into a sort of spiral. Thinking of this and that and building up that mental chatter until you feel like you are about to burst open! It takes a lot of strength to be able to deal with an overactive mind. In these situations it is important to recognise and understand that the mind is not able to help in the matter and so you allow yourself the time to step away from the noise. Observe it as a third person and let it go. When you don’t feed your mind, it slows down. The energy that was built up gets released and you are able to once again remain in neutral tranquility. The balance is restored.

So how do we recognise when to allow our minds time to think and when to quiet the mind? As mentioned earlier the mind does best in problem solving, analysing and being logical. So if you are playing a word game, or writing an essay by all means put your mind to work! But! When you are posed with a situation such as making an important decision, or worrying about what someone else thinks of you… it is always best to just sit with yourself. More often than not, when you are able to quiet the mind, you will notice a subtler inner knowing that somehow guides you in the right direction. There is no doubt, no insecurity. You just know that this is the right way and you take it. But the key is to notice that the mind staying active will not solve anything. First step is to quiet the mind, and then let the rest of the beauty unfold.

So how do we quiet the mind? First, start by noticing your thoughts. What draws your minds attention? What triggers the mind into a spiral and what makes your mind thrive? Is it negative? positive? Does your mind ramble on about pointless things or does it try and coerce you into doing something you think you need to do only because others feel you need to do it?

Once you have notice how your mind operates, you can start to notice the part of you that is observing the inner chatter. Then you can start to practice being in a state where you observe the inner voice but realise that you are not that inner voice. That there is no profound truth in that inner voice. It is our belief in what the voice says that give it the power it needs to become true. So question it, notice the lack of truth behind it and let it go. If the inner voice says that the sun will set at 10am does it make it true? Absolutely not. So why do we believe the voice when it says you are not good enough or that you don’t look good today. Question it, don’t give in and allow yourself to expand beyond your mind! That is when your life truly begins. Don’t hold yourself prisoner to your minds focus, it will keep you small and lead you nowhere but within your comfort zone.

And so, the mind is a beautiful place to be. If only we learn to optimise it to the best of our ability. Use the mind for what it was made to do and allow it to quiet down when it cannot solve problems that have no solutions.

The Good, Bad and Beautiful <3

Life is never as it seems. If it were to be described as a picture… it wouldn’t be black and white, but an array of magical energies, shapes and colours splashing and merging together. When we look at life through a lens, we don’t view it with an open mind. But when you expand your perception to view it as a range of many different experiences, good, bad and beautiful…. you start to see that there are no real lines drawing up the categories. And as the lines start to blur the good and the bad start to feel beautiful as they are all magnificent experiences that we journey through in order to learn and grow on our magnificently beautiful paths.

One of the most life changing discoveries I made was realising that life isn’t always about feeling good… and when you are not feeling good, that doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. Feeling negative emotions is a vital part in living a balanced life. How would you know good without bad, and vice versa? When you understand that beautiful things can come from experiencing pain, such breakthroughs, wisdom and growth! You will start to shift your perspective on the label we have been taught to associate it with. Why does the word bad have such a negative connotation to it? And why must difficult emotions be so ostracised?

When a difficult emotion pops up for you, notice how you respond to it. Do you start to panic and push it away, do you get into doing mode and try to think your way out of it… only to have it build even further? or do you accept the emotion for what it is, understand where it is coming from, and acknowledge its existence. More often that not, we aren’t taught how to deal with difficult emotions, and so when they inevitably pop up, we don’t know what to do with ourselves. So it is important to learn to sit with them without judgment, and the more you do so, the more familiar you become with them, the less fearful and unknown they seem. The more you can view them as a part of life, a vital opportunity to learn through experience.

In my eyes, all of life is beautiful. All our situations and circumstances teach us vital lessons and in actuality, prepare us for our future. Step by step, experience by experience we are being molded and shaped for the next opportunity that arises for us. For example, how can you become a stunt artist if you are afraid to take risks? And so you will find opportunities in your life to teach you how to free yourself from the burden of fear and live your life with ease and flow. To be able to passionately put one step in front of the other and work through each and every situation, expanding yourself, your view and your perception. Only then can we say we are truly on the right path to living a beautifully aligned life.

All of our experiences are beautiful. SO what makes us say they are either good or bad? It is our perception and belief system that determines this. The thoughts that flow through our minds, the emotions that accompany them and the actions we take as a result of the two. So before our minds have the opportunity to form a certain preselection of the situation, why not allow ourselves to notice that we are not the voice in our heads. We don’t have to listen to it and we don’t have to believe everything it says. Sometimes the voice is helpful, and sometimes its not… but it is up to us to take the time to quite the mind and quite all the noise to find the right way forward in response to the experience. And so what might be bad for some may be good for others and what might be great for others might be very taxing for some. It is up to us to choose how we respond.

So why not respond with curiosity for the situation you are presented with. Take yourself out of it, and you are left with a bigger picture. One where you are able to think clearly and objectively and make the correct decision for yourself and how you choose to respond to the situation placed right in front of you!

Mistakes… The Grand Teacher.

What if we lived in a world where mistakes were cherished? What if we lived in a world where mistakes were accepted and what if we lived in a world where we were nurtured for the mistakes we made and guided through them. Building us up, rather than tearing us down? What if! What a glorious world that would be… one filled with motivation, kindness and understanding.

Mistakes are one of the biggest and most profound ways in which we can learn, grow, and expand personally, professionally, and spiritually. Only when we experience and witness firsthand what not to do… can we consciously understand that it is a mistake, and learn what to do differently the next time you are placed in a similar situation. Once you realise your mistake, you are faced with a choice. You can either plead ignorance and keep making it again and again, or you can become aware of your mistake, take ownership of it, accept it, and then try to figure out what you could do differently or how you could approach the situation differently in the future. All in all the latter will teach you immensely, allow you to grow and most definitely help you gain a better understanding of yourself, your actions and how you would like to carry yourself in the world that we live in.

Mistakes are our best teachers. Even the best of the best, the masters, professors, and mentors, make mistakes! No one is perfect, and it is essential to realize that there is plenty of room for mistakes. Welcome them, let them in, and shift your perspective on them. You are allowed to make mistakes! If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be where you are today. The key is to learn from them. Do not let them define you, instead, allow them to shape you and guide you to where you are meant to go.

There is a negative connotation associated with mistakes. Why is that? Who has taught us that making a mistake is a bad thing, and why do we feel such immense guilt and shame over making such mistakes? I understand that they can lead to detours, but maybe they are detours in the right direction? Maybe they are leading you down a path you need to visit to learn vital lessons for your future. Embrace mistakes and all they have to teach you.

There are many ways to learn from mistakes. It could be a mistake in your job, relationship, mindset, judgment, and so many more…

Once you have observed your mistake, accept that it has happened. There is nothing you can do to change the past. But what you can focus on, is where you go from here on out. And so try and ask yourself what you could do differently the next time you are put in a similar situation? Would you carry yourself in a certain way? Choose a different method of doing things? Would you maybe put more effort into a certain area of your life you feel you need more knowledge in? or could it simply be apologising to someone and not doing said thing again.

Have a humble attitude towards mistakes, and you will reap the rewards. They teach us to step away from our egotistic mind that says, “You have to be perfect,” “If you make a mistake, you are not good enough,” “I haven’t made a mistake. I’m good at what I do, and this is how it’s done.”

Denial of mistakes is a form of protecting your ego or feeling that if you accept that you made a mistake, you won’t be able to rectify it or for fear of imperfection. There are many other reasons why some may actively avoid acknowledging that they have made a mistake. I feel that, more often than not, we are never taught that it is okay to own up to it, and that there is no shame in it, so we suppress it. It is time to spread a little kindness to yourself and to others, as we all make mistakes. It’s a part of life. They are bound to happen no matter who you are, where you come from, or what you do. Don’t worry and don’t be too hard on yourself!

Life loves you and is rooting for your best and highest good. So take these mistakes as a blessing in disguise, for they are guiding you to greatness! It is up to you to acknowledge and accept that greatness as your own ❤

Connection.

One of the most breathtaking experiences in life is the beauty of connection. Whether it be connection to plants, animals, insects or humans, we are all living beings connected to one another at a very deep level. Whether we choose to feel these connections is up to us, but oh how absolutely magical it feels to belong, living in harmony, laughter and joy. It is a grand feeling that no amount of money could buy, it is so simple yet incredibly fulfilling. To be connected with the earth, the universe, nature, other like minded individuals.

Connection does not only mean feeling a sense of belonging to other living beings, it also stems from within. Connection to yourself is the most important form of connection there is. To be able to connect with all the different parts of yourself, nurture yourself and love yourself whole. It is what heals us, helps us to let go and live entirely in the present moment. Connection with ourselves is a deep form of understanding of who we are, what we are all about, why we came into this life and what we are going to do about it.

Animals can teach us alot about not only ourselves, but about life in general. The intelligence that surrounds them because of said connection to themselves and all species around them is truly magical. They are wise beyond wise as they have developed an awareness and access to a web of wisdom that comes very very easily to them. Why? Because they are so strongly connected to the earth and to other living beings around them. This is an area I feel we are yet to evolve into. It is the connection with ourselves and others.

Have you ever found people who you just connect with from the get go? People who you feel you’ve known your entire life. People who you can spend all your time around and never get enough of. This my dear friend, is called connection. Connection at such a deep, cathartic level, that you don’t really need words to communicate to one another. You can feel each others energies as they dance together creating such a magical moonlight. When you find connection like this, no matter what, just allow it. Let it in, embrace it, nurture it and feel it, for it is a true gift. One that you don’t find very often. So if you do, dive in with all your heart and soul… and never look back. It could lead to incredible adventures and magical experiences!

When we connect, we not only connect on an intellectual level. We connect on a soul level, a cellular level and a deeply spiritual level. We can learn so much from others. So much from their strengths and so much from their passions. When you see someone passionate in what they do, it is very inspiring and can be extremely motivational to go out there and follow your dreams. Follow that connection you have with the life that you’re living and make it a great experience for yourself! Enjoy every moment as if it’s your last and live life to the fullest. Make the most of your time here and expand yourself physically, mentally, spiritually and intellectually.

So start small. Start by noticing yourself, your values and try and dig a little deeper within. Ask yourself some questions. Get to know yourself, allow yourself the freedom to live passionately and let go and be free to flow with life. Find a deep connection within yourself and allow it to blossom and bloom into something truly spectacular. Then you can say you have truly lived a marvellous life.

I, ME & MYSELF.

When you think about yourself, what are the thoughts running through your mind, what do you feel… and how do you speak to yourself? One of the most powerful and important tools in your life is to notice the way you speak to yourself. It can alter the way you behave, what you do and how you do it. So how is your relationship with yourself? Is it severely critical… or are you able to cut yourself some slack? Is it very demeaning… or are you able to nurture all the parts of you that are still a work in progress? Take some time to really dig deep within and ask yourself these vital questions. For when you find your answers, you can decided what needs to change and what new and healthy patterns you would like to replace them with.

  1. How can we help others if we cannot help ourselves first?

When we think about ourselves, why is it that we are taught to feel guilty for putting ourselves first? Why can we not do things for ourselves like we would for a loved one? Why do we push our bodies to burnout and tire our brain to exhaustion? Where do we draw the line and how to we find that balance between self care and daily living. Quite frankly, if you cannot be there for yourself, how can you be there for others? And if you cannot be there for others it defeats the purpose of not taking care of yourself. We need to carve out time for ourselves in order to fill up our cups. When we try to help others whilst running empty, we are not adding, but taking away. So it is vital to be able to first learn to take care of yourself and then be able to do the same for others. And when you truly learn this, you will notice the difference in being there for others before and after you put in time for yourself.

2. How do you speak to yourself?

So let’s change the way we talk to ourselves. Mastering the mind and how you speak to yourself is vital in changing the way you feel and the things you do. It is all too easy for the critical part of our minds to speak out of turn, giving us this negative talk that we never knew we asked for. But how about we stand up for ourselves in these moments. Talk back to that inner critic and say “Hey! Stop that. I am good enough, I am worth it. Just because I make mistakes doesn’t mean i’m less, it just means i’m growing and learning. I am going to forgive myself rather than make myself feel worse”. Then you can bring in a more nurturing voice from within, guiding you, healing you and most importantly supporting you. The bumps along the way are opportunities to expand and reach further than you thought you could. It can be a challenge in itself, you do not need the added criticism. So be gentle with yourself. Notice the critic, stand up to it and then bring in the voice of nurturance.

3. How do we break free from the stereotype that putting yourself first is a selfish act?

I, Me & Myself… what a strong, powerful and courageous statement. So why is it frowned upon? Who made these rules and why must we go along with them? Putting yourself first does not mean neglecting your work life, not looking after your kids or being rude to people. Putting yourself first could be carving out some time in the day to do what nourishes your soul, it could be saying no to unhealthy habits, it could be setting boundaries for yourself and having the courage to follow through on them. The list goes on and will be different for everyone. The more we start to acknowledge our own well being, the more nourished we are on the inside. And the more nourishment we give ourselves, the more we start to flourish externally! When you are flourishing, you feel better, you are more able to be there for others, but most importantly, yourself.

4. How do you balance ‘Doing’ and ‘Being’?

Sometimes… all you need is a day to yourself, a day to just do nothing and be. To get out of the doing mode you found yourself in 24/7 and step into a space of rest and relaxation. To allow your mind to quiet down and let yourself be as you need to be. To do things that help you stay present and grounded, such as reading a book, drawing or even cooking. To allow your creative juices to flow and heal you from the inside out. We all need this, I just wish we learned the importance of it and started to make it more of a priority. Because it is important, to find the little things in life that bring us so much joy and to bask in it, even if it’s just for a little while.

5. How do you change your emotional beliefs toward yourself?

“I am worth the effort I put into myself”

We all deserve to carve out some special time for ourself that is of course Guilt-FREE! Why do we feel guilty about doing things for ourselves? When did we learn to be shameful of making our needs a priority? Guilt and shame go hand in hand. While guilt helps us on the morality scale, it can also be oh so detrimental to our journey to self love and self care. So how do we take the necessary time for ourselves without the guilt or the shame that often follows suit? I would suggest take time to sit with the feelings. Sit with them, acknowledge them and ask yourself why it is coming up for you and where or when you learned to feel this way. We are our own best teachers, if we learn to really listen to ourselves on a higher level, all the answers will come flooding in.

And with that I really do hope you find some I, Me and Myself time to just be what you need in the moment and learn to love the little things in life ❤

I Love You, Goodbye.

I love you, Goodbye is a beautiful term I like to use for all things that no longer serve me, for which I would like to lovingly remove from my life. Whether it be mentally, socially, physically or even romantically… To be able to honour yourself enough to realise what it is that needs to be let go off and taking the correct steps to make that happen.

More often than not, what we want and what we need are not always in alignment with each other. One is for our better and the other… not so much. One helps us in short term gains and the other helps us in the long run. So what is the difference between our wants and needs? Where do we draw the line between the two? And how do we start to live a life filled with more meaning? For example, you have been invited out with friends, but your body is pleading with you to have a night in. Do you go with your desire to meet your friends, or do you honour your bodies needs and take it easy? Going out will leave your burnt out, whereas staying in could recharge you. This example carries on into your personal life, professional career and in setting a healthy lifestyle for yourself. All in all it is about prioritising yourself and putting yourself first. To learn how to take care of yourself and love yourself whole. To gently remind yourself in a situation “I love you, Goodbye”. Let go with kindness. To have the awareness and self discipline to acknowledge and remind yourself that this is not serving my highest good and so I let it go with love.

Another example of living a more self empowered life would be to say “I do not need a romantic partner but I do want to share my life with someone”. This takes away any sort of inner power you may be giving away unknowingly. To know that you are completely capable of standing tall on your own and meeting your own needs… but it is always nice to, in addition, have that romantic connection. Therefore your romantic partner is not a substitute for all the aspects in your life you may feel are lacking. If you seek out a person to pick up the pieces for you, and things don’t work out… it will leave you in pieces, as they take away the glue that was holding you together. And so, if you work towards healing all those parts of you first and consequently find a partner to add to your life, you are more well rounded and better able to move through situations or challenges that come your way. Why? Because you committed to yourself first. By saying “I love you, Goodbye” to seeking external quick fixes… and going within to heal. By building stronger foundations for yourself, allowing you to feel more grounded, secure and lovingly whole.

So why not let go of all that no longer serves you and your highest good. Take time to really ground yourself in the present moment. Think of all the aspects of your life you feel you have outgrown. What doesn’t feel so good anymore? What tasks feel like chores? What thoughts or emotions have brought you down for far too long? Make a list of all of these things, and then consciously and courageously say…. “I love you, Goodbye” to them. It is a choice. Acknowledge your need to move through it all and step in to a better space for yourself and all that surround you.

For example, when you are in a romantic relationship that is not healthy for either one of you… you see the signs, you even feel them, but a part of you will hold on for dear life, for fear of change or the fear of not finding any better. However, when you are able to muster enough self worth, self love and self respect for yourself to realise that this is no longer serving your highest good… and you are willing to act on it, you can free yourself by saying “I love you, Goodbye” to the situation.

And so it boils down to who you choose to surround yourself with, how you choose to honour your health and fitness, the amount of self discipline you exercise and your goals and intentions… Dreaming big and making it happen! It all starts with a simple question. “Do I really want to do this, or do I need to do something else?”. To Choose to move through what is not working for you with love and starting anew with self care, self love and putting yourself first sometimes.

In order to embody the “I love you, Goodbye”, we must learn to move on with love. It is important to gain the perception of loving natural change. Never being afraid to say goodbye to a chapter in your life that has past its expiration date, and to be able to gracefully turn the page and enter into a new and fresh beginning. Saying goodbye to old and past patterns that either have you stuck or hold you back… and having the love and courage to move through it and into the freedom of fresh and new abundance.

So take a moment to really sit with yourself and reflect on all the aspects of your life you feel you may have outgrown, all that you carry that may be past its time and think about where you want to go in your present and future. What do you want… and what do you need? It all comes down to a choice. A sort of filtering out all that holds you back and making the conscious decision to be a better version of yourself, a more evolved you as you change through the times and learn and grow.

Therefore I love you, Goodbye is a little reminder to move through times with love. Cherish all your experiences and you will eventually move through them. Enjoy them while they last, flow through the good, push through the hard and have the gentle grace to say goodbye when you know it is time to. To allow yourself to be open to the excitement of “what’s next”.

Feeling, Dealing and Healing✨

In order to heal you need to deal… and in order deal you need to feel. Feeling our emotions, especially the ones that are difficult, is one of the most uncomfortable of feelings. But once you do, the amount of emotional, physical and spiritual transformation you experience is otherworldly. Transformation of all past patterns, wounds, emotional blocks and so on. Transformation into a version of you that is not held down by all the baggage that once weighed on you. A version of you that is lighter, happier and definitely more authentic to who you truly are.

When you deal with your emotions by feeling them, you take away their power through confronting them, and sitting with them. It is in avoidance, where you either let the fear of feeling them build and build, or the emotion/ situation stays with you for so long that it begins to feel like it is a part of you… when in truth it is definitely not. We as human beings often tend to get stuck in our comfort zones. Even if our comfort zone is sitting in discomfort, we will do so, as we fear change more than we fear dealing with what it is that truly holds us back.

Change is vital if you want to grow, and growth is paramount to healing. This equation is quite simple when you look at it in a broader sense, but often takes much courage and bravery to master. It takes a lot of inner work and strength from within to be able to become aware of the aspects of ourselves we need to heal, and then taking the necessary steps in doing so. Sometimes it’s all about sitting with the emotions that come up when we are triggered by certain situations, sometimes it’s sitting with thoughts that randomly pop up. Instead of pushing the thoughts away, which only gives them more fuel to grow bigger, why don’t you try to think the thought through. Notice what emotions come up with the thought and sit with it in stillness. Ground yourself in it, feel through the emotions and begin to see the thought for what it truly is… merely a thought. When you take away the power a thought has over you, you take back and claim your strength. You empower yourself to stand tall and learn to navigate through the depths of your subconscious mentality. Thoughts are only scary if you give them that power.

Healing is not always easy, it takes true dedication to go through the work but oh how it is SO worth it!!! To feel light and feather like. To feel immense freedom from what it was that held you back for far to long. Dealing takes alot of courage. In order to deal, we first need to accept that there is something the lies beneath the surface, waiting to come up and out. To be able to feel through it and let it go. Dealing requires our attention and focus. It requires true determination and a willingness to want to get better and feel better. Sometimes the only way to reach that destination, is to go through it, in the literal sense. You have to face your feelings, nurture them, get to know them and learn to befriend them. To acknowledge that there are things within us that are craving to be seen and heard. They want to be acknowledged so that they can move through you and out of you. But it requires the courage to sit with the discomfort that most often will pop up. That courage will come from a place of sheer strength and direction.

And when you start to move through each and every part of you that is wounded, you start to create space within yourself. With that space, you have the power to fill it up with beautifully nourishing things. It may vary from person to person. It could look like building new and uplifting friendships, learning something new, becoming more creative, picking up hobbies that light your soul up from within or learning to enjoy your own company.

Healing is no linear journey. It is filled with cracks, crevices, bumps and swerves. But in the end, you manage to reach your destination. And when you have climbed that mountain, you do feel a deep sense of accomplishment. It gives you great confidence to then move on to dealing with and healing another part of you. And as you start to heal more and more, you start to change your life for the better. You free yourself up to be more of your authentic self, living a lighter and brighter life.

So to all those that are on the journey of feeling, dealing and healing… keep going! The beauty that lies beyond is incredibly worth it and oh so satisfying!

The Art Of Balance

Balance, equilibrium, symmetry, stability… what do these words represent and what does it mean? Balance, the idea that you cannot have one without the other for stability. Today we will be shedding light on how balance is crucial in all of life’s experiences. You cannot have good without knowing bad, you cannot know happiness without knowing a sense of sadness. Where there is loss, gain is not too far behind. Fear and excitement, tragedy and love, without one, how could you possibly and truly know the other? They go hand in hand, like two peas in a pod!

So when you fear loss, know that gain is never too far away. It is part of growth. When we let go of our false sense of control, we can take a step back and really strive for equilibrium. To have the courage to feel or experience the discomfort knowing that better days are ahead. To know that without one I cannot possibly feel the other!

And so balance can come in many different shapes and sizes. Emotional balance as I spoke about earlier comes with experience, and a deep understanding. It stems from emotional regulation and the idea that we are not our emotions, simply beings that experience emotions as they come and go. Some stay for a while… and others come and go in a flash. Emotion can be tricky but through breathe work, we could really learn to master our emotions. Find a balance between our emotions as they flow naturally through our being.

Physical balance relates to your relationship with your body and your own physicality. How you view your body, yourself and most importantly how you talk to your body. Physical balance also comes from taking care of your body, how you view your weight, what you feed your body, how you sleep and so on. In a sense, a form of self care.

It is important to have a good balance of a range of people around you and in your social circle. To have people you can laugh with, cry with, dance with and even be goofy with. You do not have to find all of these things in just one person. That is the beauty of it. To have people in your life that you can bond over certain parts of each others personalities with. A good group of cathartic friends who uplift, support and belong with each other.

Balance as a paradox is an interesting theme. Balance teaches us that we as humans are able to feel a whole range of emotions at the same time. To be in a situation where you feel daunted yet freedom, intimidated yet comforted. When we can accept that we feel these emotions at the same time, we win more than half the battle. As we often feel that we cannot experience both together, but why not? Feel it, embrace it, because it will soon pass, so enjoy the experience for what it is!

The art of balance is about learning to move through the waves with grace and to learn to exercise a little bit of detachment toward the emotions we feel, learning that they are hear to teach us vital lessons, rather than getting wrapped up in them and creating endless cycles for ourselves. Like they say… “Push through the hard, and flow through the good”. It is all about perspective. What makes good good and bad bad? What if for you, what is good is someone else’s bad and vice versa? So can we not change our mindset and spin things around just a little bit? Why do difficult or uncomfortable emotions or situations have to be bad? If you say “It is happening FOR me and not TO me” You learn to exercise gratitude towards your situation. And when you look back at the situation that has passed you feel a deep sense of gratitude for what you went through because you would not be the strong, empowered individual that you are today having not experienced what you did. It is all about balance, yet it is also about perspective.

Balance is more often than not linked to awareness. The awareness to know when you are off balance, what end of the scale you feel you have tipped toward and how to get yourself back to equilibrium. It’s about knowing yourself, your values, your strengths and weaknesses. It’s about knowing where you stand and where you are headed. When you feel your self on a detour from your path, life has a funny yet incredible way of putting us back on track. They call it a “detour in the right direction”. Sometimes you have to veer off in order to come back into alignment. The amount of knowledge and experience you gain from a detour is unbelievable! So sometimes when you are learning, it’s ok not to be in balance. The learning lies in witnessing your imbalance and taking the steps to get yourself back time and time again.

So it really is all about getting playful with it. There is no right or wrong because at the end of the day, we are all just here to learn! I hope you find the balance that you are looking for in the life that you lead… Lots of love ❤

Becoming Authentic

People pleasing is such an underrated occurrence that is either rarely spoken about or a thing not many of us are even aware that we do. I feel that this sort of behaviour is something we learn in our lives to fill a deep void from within. It comes from a place of lack and emptiness and we try to fill it up by moulding ourselves into a being that we feel others may like or approve of. People pleasing is one of the most common self sabotaging behaviours. So I would like to shed some light on the matter in the hopes to help myself and others to work toward stepping out of this behaviour and into a more authentic and fulfilling way of being.

So what may people pleasing look like? It can vary from person to person… but it would most commonly be trying to fit in with the crowd, trying to be like others, or be liked by others. Going along with trends not because we genuinely like them, but because we think others may like them. Wearing clothes you feel others may approve of without stopping to ask yourself whether you like them. Ordering food on a menu based on what others around you are eating. Changing your accent to fit in with the crowd around you as you are afraid to stand out and be different, all the while stepping further and further away from yourself. Saying things or agreeing with other’s opinions without taking the time to ask yourself what your opinions on the matter may be. Doing something only because you know that if you don’t, it would inconvenience the other person and so you put their needs before your own. Honestly, the list goes on and on.

There are so many different forms and fashions, it is hard to keep up with them all! And maybe a few of these examples sound familiar to you. People pleasing is something that we all know exists but for some reason, none of us talk about it. Why is that? Why are we not promoting our own individuality? The more we please others, the more we move further away from ourselves. When we start to lose ourselves, when we do not even recognise ourselves… There will definitely come a point of overwhelm for the fact that you are so lost, you don’t even know who you are anymore. What your likes or dislikes are, what clothes you like to wear, what your actual accent may sound like (the one you hear in your head), your opinions and observations that are true to you and not someone else. It all starts with awareness and a gentle curiosity for wanting to get to know yourself.

So how do we start to get to know ourselves? We start by asking ourselves the most basic questions. If you were to block everyone else out, if you knew you wouldn’t be judged and if you had no worries about fitting in… This can be done in solitude. It could be a trivia of different questions. You can get creative with it. When you meet someone for the first time, what would you ask them? How would you try to get to know them? Then start to do the same for yourself. You can start with your likes and dislikes, then move on to your opinions on certain matters. What are your values as a person? What standards would you like to live by? How would you like others to treat you, and then try and incorporate that into how you interact with others.

It all comes down to going on a quest to not only find yourself and who you are but also in loving yourself and every part that you discover. It’s about getting to know yourself. You could be at the age of 50 and still not truly know who you are. It is a process, but one of such deep satisfaction and loving acceptance, it is definitely worth it. When you start to accept who you are as a person, you won’t care whether other people accept you or not. You will reach a stage where you will have so much self worth and respect for yourself where you can understand that others opinions, ways of being may differ to you. You could either learn to compromise and live with that or you could understand and let them go with the understanding that they are not your type of person. That there are so many people in this world, you cannot possibly be liked by everyone or be similar to everyone. To understand that you will find your own people. And when you start to own who you are… you start to attract people who are compatible to who that is. You start to attract people who are also authentically true to themselves too, paving a way for a more fulfilling, happy and free life. Does that not sound great?

This journey requires a lot of awareness on the acceptance of who you are. You can only truly accept all parts of you when you love all parts of you. Especially the parts that are no way near perfect. To say “I love myself… quirks and all” That’s what makes you special, and sets you apart from others. Sometimes we feel comfort in fitting in as we do not like the added attention we get when we start to become truly authentic. Authenticity is so attractive to people because more often than not, it is what so many people crave but don’t realise that they can too be true to themselves and live in their authenticity. Why not? So it starts with one, who inspires another and then another… all in all spurring on a path for others to really dive deep within themselves to discover and get to know who they truly are and to love and accept themselves for it.

So I hope you enjoy the beauty of getting to know yourself, to befriend yourself, enjoy your own company, understand yourself. It is a beautiful process, and I do know that we all need to give ourselves a little more attentive kindness and nourishment along the way.