Loss is a touchy subject for almost all of us. It is never easy, to loose something that you care very deeply for and hold close to your heart. But then again… loss is a part of life, and one of the many lessons we learn as we go along our journeys. Everyone at some point in their lives has to face some form of loss. It could look like the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job… and it does not necessarily have to do with the passing of a being. It could just mean that someone you cared about used to be in your life, taking up so much of it… now leaving you a little empty. But life goes on, and eventually we learn to move with it. To flow naturally and stop resisting the rhythm of it. So why do we resist so much? Why are we so wrapped up in grief when we lose certain things in our lives?
We human beings are accustomed to getting comfortable in our routines. We like structure and get comfortable in our lives. So much so that when we experience a drastic shift/change, we tend to feel off balance. So learning to embrace change is the number one take away. Learn to embrace the fact that nothing in life is really certain. As you lose, you soon gain too. Look past the loss and remember that life is ever changing and ever flowing. You were not the same person you were yesterday, you are ever-changing too. So trust in the fact that as your external situations change, you can and WILL change with them and that is not a bad thing! So just embrace it, love it and live through it in the present moment.
Trust and have faith that you can handle ANYTHING that life throws at you. You are a strong being. Remember that life does not and will not give you anything that you cannot handle. Remember that and keep pushing on until you can start to flow and really grow. Have faith in your own ability to be able to stand strong and be independent. To know that you can take care of yourself. You can be there for yourself through thick and thin and that things will get better!
“I accept who I am and look forward to the person I am becoming”
“I accept where I am and look forward to where I am going”.
So what can you learn from the situation? What is the situation trying to teach you? Because life is just one big lesson beautifully unfolding in front of us. So what are you being called to become aware of? How does it make you feel? And what can you do to heal from it and get through it? These are crucial and vital questions to ask yourself when dealing with loss.
And you most likely will not ever be the same person you were before you experienced the loss. And that is not a bad thing. Let it shape you, let it change you, allow yourself to grow from it and really expand from it.
And if ever you feel abandoned, it’s important to note that it is not YOU! There is nothing wrong with you. You ARE lovable, you ARE good enough, and you ARE beautifully and uniquely one of a kind. And if people left you along the way, they are just detours in the right direction. Because they were never meant to stay in your life! So think of them leaving as blessings! “Thank you for showing me what is not meant for me and creating space for what is!” When we allow ourselves to think in this way, we are levelling up our self worth, self respect and self value. We are taking care of ourselves and genuinely wanting better, seeking better. And it WILL come and you will then tell yourself, “thank god those people are not in my life any longer, for if they were I would never have met these amazingly special people that ARE right for me!”
Letting go can be tough! We are all too familiar with the internal battle we face between wanting to hold on, but needing to move on. Learning to put ourselves first can really help with that. To know that “This is what is best for me in the long run even if it feels extremely painful in the present moment”. To love yourself enough to do what is right by you… and sometimes that means making the hard decisions.
Loss can take so many forms, losing friends along the way, dealing with a breakup, the passing of a loved one or an animal, it could also be giving up something that was once valuable to you. The healing process differs for each and every one of us. It could depend on the situation, who you are as a person and how you deal with loss in general. So be unapologetic about how you feel. Feel all the emotions, grieve the loss, find healthy ways to cope, that will help you get through the difficult time because the first step is essentially sitting with the raw emotions stirring deep within yourself. But as the wound stops bleeding, it starts to heal. And with time, love and compassion towards yourself, you start to move on. Moving on with your life is wildly courageous and tremendously commendable because you choose to honour your loss by re-learning how to be in the world without that person/thing that meant, and may still or always mean alot to you.
So I just wanted to say that you are fabulous, you are doing the best that you can, and I have every faith in you.. You can get through this!