Your Needs Vs. The Needs Of Others

If you do not take care of yourself, how are you to even begin to take care of another? Kindness, generosity and giving for others can only go so far, learning to give that to yourself is key. When we take care of our needs, we are able to give far more to others than if we do not take care of ourselves. Selflessness works to an extent, however we must remind ourselves that it is ok to be selfless toward ourselves too. Take some time to really go inwards. Ask yourself what you want, what are your needs to feel balanced, fulfilled, loved, nurtured, supported and guided. Then come up with creative ways in which you can give that to yourself.

There is a beautiful shift that takes place when you take care of yourself. When you set healthy boundaries for yourself out of love and compassion. To heal yourself, so that you can heal others. Because would you not be doing others a disservice by not reaching your full potential first? Wouldn’t you want then to receive the full power of your healing? In order to give that, you need to put yourself first. You need to make yourself a priority and invest your time, effort, love and hard work into yourself. To heal yourself, break up all the limitations and all the blocks within yourself so that you can let go and flow, learn and grow!

And sometimes putting yourself first upsets others. They turn to you to feel good, to feel joy and find support. And when you don’t give it to them, it causes a sort of disconnect between the two of you. And that is alright. Because the truth is that no one is going to take care of you in a way that you can take care of yourself. So you putting yourself first, may cause distance and discomfort in some of your relationships, but it also teaches others to go within themselves too. If they cannot find the love and support that they need from you, it is encouraging them to look within themselves too! And hopefully that will trigger their own inner growth and healing. Sometimes we just need to put ourselves first.

And of course we feel guilty for doing something for ourselves, knowing it may cause discomfort/disconnect in our relationships. We may also feel undeserving of it. But is that a healthy reason not to do it? Putting yourself first does not mean that you are doing something wrong, even if someone else gets upset by it. It just means that you are taking care of yourself, going after your dreams and making the most out of the life that you have been blessed with. As long as you do everything with love and gentleness, with good intentions, there is no need to feel guilty for it. It is what is of the best and highest good of all. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, and even if it makes some people upset.

Something I find difficult to accept is knowing someone you care for is going through a difficult situation, and knowing that they need to experience it in order to learn what they need to learn. My instinct would be to want to take away their troubles and make them feel good. BUT, the truth is… that when they don’t learn what they have to from that experience, another situation just like it will come into their lives and another and another, until they learn what they are meant to learn from it. So by trying to take their pain away, you are doing a disservice to them, as it is their journey and their path to go on, to feel, to learn and to grow from. All we can do is to be there and help them help themselves. To offer tools and practices that they could benefit from.

So take care of yourself! Know that everyone has to go through what they have to go through, there is ALWAYS a silver lining and it IS for the best even when it doesn’t feel like it! 🙂

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